Friday, April 27, 2012
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most DUI stops happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you our new address. Remember Luis from the dart league that used to live here? He took the numbers with him for his new house so he wouldn't have to change his address.
Our new place has a washing machine. The first day I put four dart shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
About your Fathers old dart shirt you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes. We still miss her on league night.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Speaking of Uncles, your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat at the distillery's annual dart tournament. Some other players tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him, and he burned for three days.
Our opposing team on league night last week went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Mom
P.S. I was going to send you some of the new L-Style dart flights, but the envelope was already sealed.
Posted in: Dart Jokes
